NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 8

[Am at the office now. It is 10:05 PM. Cannot go home due to the bad security situation. Will stay overnight in the office as I did last night.
Worked really hard yesterday until a bit late last night, trying to finish the translation a legal document assigned by Human Rights Unit into Tetun. It was done early this morning. And it was supposed to be submitted to the NP at 10 AM this morning but the meeting was postponed until next week. I had been also asked to assist dsrsg to provide the interpretation service in Tetun at NP…

I found out that ‘buat tamak sira iha IT la blokeia tan ha’u-nia blog sira’ this afternoon. This means that I do not have to be at TT to update my blogs, and spend few extra money to do so.

It rained heavily yesterday afternoon and this afternoon as well. I thought a lot of the condition of those living in the camps as IDPs.]

*) The world is sick—full of hatred, war, revenge, etc everywhere. We lack love; we lack wisdom to heal it. [Mariano once said that here in Timor-Leste, the negative attitude is the one which dominates too much in the minds and hearts of Timorese. How can we expect to develop further TL with such an attitude?]

*) Tyranny, no matter how it behaves, will come to an end someday. The people’s power is the one which will crush it. History has proven it again and again.

*) What will we leave behind as legacy to the world when we die?

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 7

[ I am now at Timor Telecom, Acait. Will be here very often to update my blog..tanba iha eskritoriu agora sei imposivel tanba buatamak sira IT blokeia. Could not do so during the weekend since I was too busy with my office work and family life....]

*) Stomach cannot wait, as the saying says. We cannot do anything else properly when we are hungry.

*) Writing is a revealing of the secrecy of heart and mind.

*) Writing is a re-writing process. Be patient with it.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 6

[It rained heavily this afternoon around 5:30. I interpreted for SRSG in today’s press conference as I usually did. He just returned from NY after attending UN SC meeting on TL. His main briefing was on his meetings in NY, especially SC meeting. Lots of questions raised by journalists, particularly in regards to security situation in TL…

I feel sorry for the IDPs when it rains.

Was so pleased to receive an e-mail from Lia Haryono, a literary fellow, residing in Jakarta whom I came across recently via internet, this afternoon as a reply to my email sent on 12 Feb. Indeed, I was so anxious these days to get some news from her. She agreed with my proposal to publish our correspondence through this blog. That made my heart leap up. What a day! ]

*) Humility is very much needed in our lives. Being humble is a wise gesture.

*) We tend to point fingers at other people while refusing to acknowledge that we are also part of the problems.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 5

[Around 00:30 am. Amor and I have just enjoyed the ecstacy of 'ceremony'...]

*) After all, as what the Beatles had said in one its songs, "all we need is love...". The world is full of hatred. We need love. Yes, we need love, don't we?

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 4

*) There is nothing to hide when it comes to spiritual nakedness (You cannot tell lies to your own heart).

*) Love conquers evil. There is no doubt about it. Love is like a balm, curing the wounded heart.

*) You can only travel to certain areas, and then you will meet your end.

*) The space for literature is endless. You will never discover them all.

[At Fatuhada, around 11:21 pm. While Nini was typing a letter to be sent to Ina in Cuba via e-mail, and Nona was doing her clippings of local newspapers on education…..]

*) Try to keep being an explorer of the heart.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 3

*) Live your life fully! Embrace not only the joy, but also the pain.

[ I went to Mom’s house in Bekusi for lunch today. I bought lunch at Obrigado Barracks (Filipino food) and took it home.
My belongings taken from Usindu were kept at the living room in Bekusi.
Met Noi, Enty, Mana Zinda, Bati and others there. They helped take my belongings with a truck belonging to Angelo, Giri’s brother. I was grateful for their brotherly and sisterly gesture of solidarity.

Oh, my! When will the current crises come to an end?]

*) Political change is very much needed [in this country at the moment]. People are tired of political rhetoric.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 2

*) The more I write the more I feel I have not written anything. And I feel restless all the time.

*) Life is a mirror. When we smile, it will smile back at us.

*) My mother is a great teacher in my life. She is the source of my inspiration. She is like a well, never dry. She has taught me how to endure the pain in life.

*) My Dad once said when he was still alive, “Through darkness, we will see the light.”

[ Am still at the office. It is 9:21 PM now.

The security situation in Dili continues to be tense. My sisters: Zinha and Bati plus their kids as well my cousin, Zinda and the family were forced to leaves their houses in Usindu III yesterday afternoon due to the threats by the martial arts gangs. The same thing happened to my brother Enty. Feel very sorry for them. And at the moment they stay at Noi's (my eldest sister) house in Delta I.

Noi informed me that they have taken some of my belongings I left behind in Usindu III to Bekusi where my Mom lives...

Dili is trembling…. Dili nakdedar. La hatene atu hakat pasu ba loos ne'ebe?

Try to keep in this diary on-line as regularly as possible. Hope this is not only “panas-panas tai ayam”….

[I find it interesting to deal with the blog. A new playground for me…Why am so late in doing so?]

*) As a writer, you have to leave some space in your writings to the readers for their own interpretations.

POEM(S) OF THE MONTH (1)

Death

Don't shed the tears/I am not departing/I continue to be here/with you/chasing the dreams/

---

Feb.2007

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 1

9 Feb 2007

*) The role of a writer is to collect the fossils of reality scattered around, then ornamenting it on the wall of our history….

10 Feb 2007

[While being in the beach of Dili lighthouse, reflecting….Around 7:39 am]

*) Write things which you know!

*) Great writers inspire others. They illuminate them.

POEMS FOR "SANAK BARAK, SULI BA IDA"

INTRODUCTION

“poetry is life, and life is poetry”


These twenty poems were originally written in Indonesian. For an attempt to reach more readers, the only way to do so was through translation. I did the translation myself with the help of an Australian friend, who is also a poet, doing the editing. Chris Parkinson is his name. I believe that there are some nuances missing when the works appear in English version.

Along with my Indonesian-Timorese painter, Yahya Lambertz I read the poems in three versions; Indonesian, Tetun and English in a cultural show with the theme “SANAK BARAK, SULI BA IDA: [MANY BRANCHES, FLOWING INTO ONE], marking the third anniversary of the restoration of Timor-Leste’s independence at the Hall of Dili-based Timor-Leste Cultural Centre sometime in May 2005. Yayha, whom I consider my ‘interpreter’ draw the paintings in expressionistic style while I was reading the poems.

These poems, hopefully, someday will appear in a book form.

I look forward to critical literary comments on my work.

Shalom,
Abé Barreto Soares

Dili, 8 February 2007



-------

THE BIRD OF PEACE

O, sweet dove, bird of peace
Where is it that you hide?
O, sweet dove, bird of peace
With strengths so soar so high
Where is it that you hide?
I can’t hardly wait for you
To fly back;
And perch upon the banyam tree
Which has a wonderful shade
With an olive branch
Nestled in you beak
O, sweet dove, bird of peace
Anxiously I wait,
And listen to your enchanting and
melodious chant of Jerusalem!
---
2003-2005


THE CROSS THAT WE BEAR

Forward we step, bearing the cross
Along the way, we fall, and
keep falling

Brightness shines upon the slopes of Calvary
Easing the burdens we bear
hesitantly
---
2005


IN MEMORY OF *) SERGIO VIEIRA DE MELLO

you stuck a flag’s pole
on the dry and unfertile land of **)lafaek

the flag was raised
waived by weighty winds

you saluted the flag

you stepped backward

you remained at the edge

---
2003-2005

*)Former head of UN Mission in Timor-Leste, UNTAET from 1999
until 2002, killed in Baghdad in August 2003.

**)Crocodile (according to the legend, Timor island was the
transformation of a crocodile)


BAGHDAD SLICED BY THE WOUNDS


Baghdad sliced by the wounds!
Baghdad collapsed, powerless!
Baghdad listless, bathing in blood!

Baghdad’s wounds are our collective wounds!
---
2003-2005


A BAYONET FIRMLY STUCK

A bayonet firmly stuck!

The crocodile struck by the disaster,
Its body spread out, its mouth full of foam of saliva

Crocodile’s mouth mumbling:
“What have I done wrong?
What is my sin?”
---
2002-2005


WHITE ROBE

Stained by blood,
Dust settles upon the pallid robes
When it offered the sacrifice to the altar

In this hour the white robe we curse
In this hour the white robe we slash
We stepped upon it,
And throwing it away
--
2005


LÁGRIMAS DO XANANA (TEARS OF XANANA)

Tears of Xanana,
warm and condensed

Transformed into balm

Healing the wounds

---
2002

PONTE KAIS-DILI SEAPORT

sedimentary rocks, coral reefs

ripple of waves, radiance of lights
competing to express themselves, marking their presence:
here i am, here i exist
---
2002


I AM A PEEBLE THAT YOU THROW (INTO THE POND)
(An Evening Meditation)

“when all of the musical strings of my life will be played, then every touch of Yours will create the music of love.”
Rabindranath Tagore

Lord, I am merely a peeble that you throw into the freshly transparent pond

And I am sinking

Soon I am leaving behind the ripple of waves, slowly moving to the edge

The evening sun
Shinning its lights, kissing the lips of the pond

The ripple of waves, gently foaming
The ripple of waves, slowly
dissapearing
---
2002-2005

ON TOP OF BARREN HILLLS

Crosses shining
On barren hills

Fresh blood shedding
Fertilising flat lands

New buds blossoming
Spreading a heavenly fragrance

---
2005



DESEMBER 1975 ( part 1)

Dili trembled
Dili frightened

Dili doubtful
dragging its steps

chasing the footprints of freedom
---
2002-2005?



DESEMBER 1975 (part 2)

my dignity was stepped upon
my dignity was handcuffed

i stared
in fear

i mumbled
i stammered

---
2002-2005?


*)NICOLAU LOBATO

darkness tightly handcuffed us
darkness strongly folded us

you are the light penetratedly shinning
you are the light batteredly shining

firmly we stand
firmly we step forward
firmly we welcome

the freshly warm breeze
---
2003-2005?

*) Timor-Leste’s resistance leader killed during the battle against Indonesian military in 1978


DADDY

Daddy was not an angel. Daddy’s shirt stained
by mud. Daddy fell headfirst

asking for
the offering of forgiveness
---
2003-2005?


*)MANATUTO

manatuto: my roots
firmly rooted

my branches freshly sticked out

my twigs ready to wander around,
sounding out the corners of universe
---
2004-2005

*) My father’s hometown


BLACK SEPTEMBER

pillars soaring high
pillars scattered

exposing silent witnesses
recounting poignant stories
---
2004-2005


LISBON: SEKILAS SKETSA
(LISBON: A SKETCH AT GLANCE)

terik mentari
membakar wajah kota

[rindu dendam
berebut ucap,
berebut cakap,
berebut pentas]

mondar-mandir wisatawan
mencari nikmat

[aku:pemulung fosil-fosil jaman kita; I am the collector of the fossils of our era,
aku, warga buana melancong tak berujung pangkal;I am a citizen of the world; wandering around without any destination]

tak kencang bertiup angin
sejuki wajah kota yang semakin menua

[timor-lorosa’e yang hancur lebur
laksana seekor pheonix mengepak-kepak sayap-sayapnya
dari dekapan sisa-sisa abu,
dan terbang lagi,
sangat meninggi
menerobos batas-batas cakrawala; timor-lorosa’e was completely destroyed, completely crushed,
like a pheonix clapping its winds from the rest of dust, and flying again really high]

sore beranjak tiba
seorang bocah cigano
mengamen dengan akordion mungil
meminta belas kasih
anjingnya kurus kering
setia menemani


[ah, tamba sa maka sempre iha lakuna entre ema riku no ema kiak sira? tamba sa? why is it that there are always gaps between “the haves”
and the”haves not”? why?]

di praça do comercio
tampak ada tertulis di dinding tembok; in praça do comercio, there was a graffity on the wall saying,
“MORTE AO IMPERIALISMO!
CLINTON, GO HOME!

[rupanya Pam Sam
dan tetek bengeknya
tak mendapat tempat disini; it seems like Uncle Sam and his various kinds of things are not welcome here]

fado beralun, sayup-sayup terdengar
dari mulut wanita setengah baya, bergigi ompong
menyambut senja,
sebentar lagi turun
selimuti
wajah kota lisbon ; fado was heard from a distance, sung by an old lady, being toothless
welcoming the evening
which soon came, covering the face of Lisbon
----
2000-2005



I AM THE SHEPHERD, AND YOU ARE THE SHEEPS

I am the shepherd,
You are the sheeps

You are stuck by your weariness
You are stoned to death by your weariness

Here I am, waiting for you to come

Here I am, waiting for you to caress your chronic weariness
---
2005


MY SILENCE

My silence
is multi-intrepreted

My silence
is merely a sign of protest:
I refuse to be shackled
----
2005



ERNESTO “CHE” GUEVARA

Latin star
shining at dawn

lightening the pathways

---
1996-2005