ESSAY: NATIONALISM OF TIMOR-LESTE SEEN FROM THE EYES OF ITS POETS

By Abé Barreto Soares
Dili, June-July 2009

“Poetry is existential communication”
Breyten Breytenbach

INTRODUCTION

The issue of nationalism is always an interesting topic to elaborate and talk about, particularly in a country like Timor-Leste, which has gone through periods of colonialism under Portuguese and Indonesian rule.

Like any other writers from Portuguese colonies in African continent, Timorese writers also played a very significant important role in burning the sense of nationalism alive among their fellow compatriots during the struggle for national liberation. A concrete example can be taken from Angola is its writer, Antonio Agostinho Neto who, “was not only Angola's first president but he remains its most prominent poet, with his work published in several languages. Neto's poetry deals with the quest for freedom and several of his poems were converted into liberation anthems.”

This short paper tries to analyze and discuss the literary works (poetry) of three prominent Timorese poets, namely Fernando Sylvan, Francisco Borja da Costa and João Aparicio which, at least, have helped shape the sense of Timorese nationalism in the recent past of Timor-Leste’s contemporary history.

The paper also will discuss a little bit the relevance of these three writers’ literary works in today’s context of a free and independent Timor-Leste, and their vision towards a prosperous and peaceful Timor-Leste in the future.

Fernando Sylvan: “....even in one minute I will not be silent”

This Timorese man was not only known as a poet, but also known as a prose writer and an essayist. His real name was Abílio Leopoldo Motta-Ferreira. He was born in Dili, Timor-Leste on 26 August 1917. He died in Cascais, Portugal on 25 December 1993.

He spent most of his time in Portugal. Wikipedia further describes that “even though there was a geographic distance between Portugal and Timor-Leste, the writer kept writing on his motherland. He elaborated on Timor-Leste’s legends, tradition and folklore in his works. In the end, he was well-known as a great poet of Portuguese language, and he became the president of its Society.”

Through his book, A Voz Fagueira de Oan Timor, we will be almost familiar with most of his poetic works. We will find some of his poems in this book, describing the strong sentiment of Timorese people’s nationalism spirit.

In 1971, three years before the Carnation Revolution took place in Portugal, Sylvan had started alerting his fellow Timorese on the issue of racism. The year 1971 was then declared as the International Year against Racism. As a spokesperson for the colonized people from the Third World, Sylvan expressed his profound sentiment on the matter through his poem, Message from the Third World. From some of the lines of the poem he marked his firm position by chanting:

“Não tenhas medo de confessar que me sugaste o sangue
E esgravataste chagas do meu corpo
E me tiraste o mar do peixe e o sal do mar
E a água pura e a terra boa
E levantaste a cruz contra os meus deuses
E me calaste nas palavras que eu pensava.
.............
Não tenhas medo de confessar o esforço
De silenciar os meus batuques
E de apagar as queimadas e as fogueiras
E desvendar os segredos e os mistérios
E destruir todos os meus jogos
E também os cantares dos meus avós.
.....
E eu sobrevivi
Para construir estradas e cidades a teu lado
E inventar fábricas e Ciência,
Que o mundo não pôde ser feito só por ti.”

In 1981 after six years of the invasion and occupation of Timor-Leste by its neighbor, Indonesia Sylvan appeared again by encouraging his Timorese compatriots to fight against foreign domination, so that in the end peace and freedom would be gained. He lamented Portugal’s weak reaction to such reality. The poem, Timor-Leste which Sylvan wrote displayed his statement and his cry:

“Timor,
teu grito fretilin ecoará
com Portugal quieto
com Portugal calado
sem um acto de força a tua força
sem um gesto de orgulho ao teu orgulho
sem um nada de nada a tua História

Mas tu resistirás a Indonésia
e lutarás
e redesfraldarás a tua bandeira
e recantarás o teu hino
e reproclamarás a tua independência

E na liberdade das tuas liberdades
terás a justiça da tua justiça
e no amor do teu amor
terás a paz da tua paz......”

Sylvan had a vision that sooner or later the war of Timor-Leste against Indonesia for achieving peace and freedom would come to an end. He believed that in the end Timorese people would reap the fruit of independence. Such vision was shared by Timorese leader overseas, José Ramos-Horta (current President of Republic of Timor-Leste) when he waged a diplomatic battle in many years. From Ramos-Horta’s book, “Funu: the Unfinished Saga of East Timor, we can also find an untitled short poem on war, which he cited:

“Funu, guerra. –A guerra
há-de terminar
a sorrir amor.

Semente a partir-se
tem seu fim na flor.”

The spirit of Mauberism which, in many years, was fostered and promoted by Fretilin during the struggle for Timor-Leste’s national liberation inspired a man of letters such as Sylvan. Through the poem, Manifesto Maubere Sylvan wanted to reinforce further the determination of Timorese people, the Maubere people to affirm its own identity. Many Timorese overseas, particularly in Portugal, used to recite the poem in their cultural performance as an act of paying tribute to the poet.

MANIFESTO MAUBERE

A cultura é a memória
de um povo que não morre!

A acção é a história
de um povo que não morre!

Ouviram?
Ouviram bem?

A vida é a liberdade
de um povo que não morre!

A independência é a vontade
de um povo que não morre!

Ouviram?
Ouviram bem?

A justiça é a oferta
de um povo que não morre!

A luta é a descoberta
de um povo que não morre!

Ouviram?
Ouviram bem?

There was no doubt that the death of Nicolau dos Reis Lobato, Timorese leader who was killed during the combat in the jungle in 1978 had really shaken the fighting morale of Timorese people for independence. Sylvan made an effort to revive the fighting spirit by describing the greatness of Nicolau Lobato, which would continue to be alive and exist in the hearts and minds of Timorese people. The poem, Vozes Mauberes revealed such deep sentiment:

VOZES MAUBERES

Uma criança chama:
-Presidente Nicolau Lobato!

Outras crianças chamam:
-Presidente Nicolau Lobato!

Vamos responder-lhes com as vozes dele:
-Presente!
-Presente!

As a tribute to Xanana Gusmão (current Prime Minister of Timor-Leste), who was in the jungle as the prominent resistance leader, Sylvan sang in his following poem. He used the rooster as a metaphor to describe the warrior, and the blade as weapons. However, in his poem he described Xanana (the warrior) as a rooster using no blades to fight. This shows that Xanana used his brain, and diplomacy to defeat his enemies.

Poema a Xanana Gusmão

Depois
(mas só depois)
os galos
lutarão sem lâminas

The poem also served as an effort of its poet to respond and conclude a Timorese popular song who was famous during the war as described as follows:

Manu aman Timor-Leste
Manu futu fatin
Lalika tau tara manu futu fatin

In ceremonies to commemorate national holidays, Timorese people usually remember their heroes and heroines who died during the war—fighting for independence by observing “one minute of silence”. As a poet who had alternative views, Sylvan reacted by expressing the following poetic words as an act of protest:

“Pedem-me um minuto de silêncio pelos mortos mauberes
Respondo que nem por um minuto me calarei!”

Francisco Borja da Costa: “……on the point of my bayonet/ I will mark in history the form of my liberation”

This man of letters was more famous with his last name, Borja da Costa when we talk about “who is who” in Timor-Leste’s literary circle. He was born “in Fatuberlihu, south coast of Timor-Leste on 14 October1946.” He died at the age of 30 when Timor-Leste was invaded by Indonesia on 7 December 1975. Indonesian paratroops were the ones killing him.

Borja da Costa had a keen observation on the issue of racism during Portuguese colonial rule “when he fulfilled his military obligations in Portuguese army and deployed in Laclubar. He noticed that his military service that he undertook served as ‘a good experience” since he had the courage to speak out against racial discrimination. After the military, he joint public service. From his post in the public service, he could manage to observe the censorship process practiced in Portuguese rule. He carried our personal research on discrimination against Timorese people in work places.”

When the Carnation Revolution took place in Lisbon on 25 April 1974, Borja da Costa was already in Portugal “doing an internship with “Diario de Noticias” “ When he was in Lisbon, “he worked and lived with other Timorese in Casa dos Timorenses, a centre for Timorese nationalists overseas. In his own words, he said that he “was educated politically” by Timorese radicals.”

During his stay in Portugal Borja da Costa’s spirit of revolutionary literature was sharpened even more through his readings of works by famous writers. “In his view, writers who had a big influence on him were Bertold Brecht, Pablo Neruda, Maxim Gorky, and the poetry of Mao Tsetung.”

Borja da Costa was a poet who “wrote poetry in the classical form, in the Tetum language. Its images were all of the things of Timor: of the spiraling mountain peaks, of the chickens in the knuas (villages), of the rivers which divide and re-unite endlessly.”

Borja da Costa began trying to wake up Timorese to open their eyes clearly to see the reality that they lived under colonial rule when he returned from Lisbon in 1974. Along with his comrade Abílio Araújo in Fretilin which he was also part of it, they “composed poetry and songs expressing the people of Timor who had long lived under the oppression. They transformed traditional songs. The first work of this cooperation was “Foho Ramelau”, which was later known as the “revolution anthem” of Fretilin.”

Foho Ramelau
…….
Tan sá timur ulun sudur uai-uain?
Tan sá timur oan ata uai-uain?

Hadeer rai-hun mutin ona lá!
Hadeer loron foun sa’e ona lá!

Loke matan loron foun to’o iha knuak
Loke matan loron foun iha ita rain

Hadeer kaer rasik kuda talin eh!
Hadeer ukun rasik ita rain eh!

Through the song, Foho Ramelau Timorese felt that they were strongly firm to have the destiny in their own hands, sooner of later.

Many years during the resistance war, the song continuously burned the spirit of Timorese alive to fight for their rights to self-determination. In towns and cities of Timor-Leste, the song was banned for Timorese to sing by the Indonesian occupying force but in the jungles and overseas where Timorese resided such as Australia and Portugal, the song continued to be heard by people.

Any country in the world always has its own national anthem. Borja da Costa contributed his work “Pátria, Pátria” for the national anthem of Timor-Leste. It was publicly sung for the first time when Timor-Leste’s independence was declared on 28 November 1975.

Hino Nacional

Pátria, pátria!
Timor-Leste, nossa Nação
Glória ao Povo e aos heróis
Da nossa Libertação.

Vencemos o colonialismo
Gritamos, abaixo o Imperialismo
Terra Livre, Povo livre
Não, não a exploração.
Avante unidos
Firmes e decididos
Na luta contra o Imperialismo
O inimigo dos Povos
Até a vitória final
Pelo caminho da Revolução

Pátria, pátria!
Timor-Leste, nossa Nação
Glória ao Povo e aos heróis
Da nossa Libertação.

For hundreds of years Portugal ruled Timor-Leste. Timorese people lived under heavy oppression. After the decolonization process of Timor-Leste which, in the end, did not produce a good result in 1970s, Timor-Leste was forced to face the invasion and the occupation by Indonesia for more than 20 years. Timorese people felt that they were not the owners of their homeland with the fact that it was occupied by others. They lived in darkness, they lived without freedom. The following poem, “O Rasto da Tua Passagem” described Borja da Costa’s strong revolt against colonialism and forms the liberation of colonized people. Timorese activists in Australia managed to record the reciting of the poem in both English and Tetum and tried to circulate it in Timor-Leste and Indonesia clandestinely during the resistance years. The reciting of the poem helped fanning the fire within the hearts of young Timorese who studied at universities in Indonesia.

O Rasto da Tua Passagem

Silenciaste minha razão
Na razão das tuas leis
Sufocaste minha cultura
Na cultura da tua cultura
Abafaste minhas revoltas
Com a ponta da tua baioneta
Torturaste meu corpo
Nos grilhões do teu império
Subjugaste minha alma
Na fé da tua religião

Saqueaste
Assassinaste
Massacraste
Pilhaste

Minha terra, minha gente
Banhada em sangue
Escorragada, exangue

Barbaramente civilizaste na demagogia da tua grei
Brutalmente colonizaste na ambição da tua grandeza

Na ponta da tua baioneta
Assinalaste o rasto da tua passagem
Na ponta da minha baioneta

Marcarei na história a forma da minha
Libertação

João Aparício: “…….Timor, o my Land/You are my name!”

There was no much information to describe this young poet. According to the website of Editora Caminho, it states that “João Aparício is a poet living as a refugee in Portugal.” In 1999 he worked as a radio announcer for Rádio Renanscença, Lisbon in a program called “Timor, Sol Nascente”, which was broadcasted daily. He had published his poetic works in a book called Versos Oprimidos where he used his pen name Kay Shalay Rakmabean in 1995. Then, in 1999, he published his poetry book entitled A Janela de Timor, and in 2000 he published another poetry book called Uma Casa e Duas Vacas.

Poems taken to discuss and analyze in this paper are mostly from the book, A Janela de Timor. The launching of the book took place in Lisbon in April 1999. In some part of his remarks for the launching, Aparício affirmed his poetic vision as follows: “O sofrimento do Povo de Timor foi e continua a ser o alicerce da minha poesia. Não vivi em mim mesmo. Vivi a vida e alma dos meus irmãos
timorenses. Fui obrigado a reflectir mais cedo sobre o mundo e sobre o drama
da minha Pátria. Aquilo que escrevi é o que maioria do Povo de Timor pensa
e sente, desde que a tragédia se abateu sobre nos. É a sumula da
consciência de um Povo que está presente: a consciência do Povo de Timor. É pensar de modo novo o que foi dito e vivido pelos meus antepassados e pelas gerações de actualidade."

Aparicio’s affirmation described above was really in tune with what the Lebanese poet, Kahlil Gibran said about the essence of a poet is that, “The poet is the mediator between the creative power and people” As a poet, Aparício fulfilled the criteria to be the spokesperson for the lives of his people which are full of pain and joy.

Poets everywhere almost have the same character. They have a strong love and passion towards their own roots of life. As a descendent of Timor-Leste, Aparicio values a lot his beloved country’s existence. He really appreciates the landscape of the three montains: Ramelau, Matebian and Kabalaki which Timor-Leste has. On this, he described in the following poem, Meu Nome:

Meu Nome

"Timor,
Imagem viva de Ramelau, Cablaqui e Matebian,
Tres almas gemeas, imortais e sagradas,
Loucas no combate e mansas no amor.

Timor, o Terra minha,
E's o meu nome! "

Aparício sees Timor-Leste as the cradle of life, which he always loves. Timor-Leste is like his soul, the soul of Timorese people. The poem, Timor-Leste depicts this sentiment:

Timor-Leste

És o meu berço natal,
Onde p’ra sempre Te amarei,
E onde sempre Te Espero!

Jamais voltarei a perder-Te..
P’ra que continues a ser
Alma minha, terra úbere.

The flame of Timor-Leste’s struggle was almost gone before Santa Cruz massacre occurred, which woke up the conscience of international community that something went wrong. Two days after the massacre, Aparicio took his pen and tried to express his feelings, and made an effort to encourage the Timorese people who were in national mourning moment. With the poem, Timor-Pedra-de-Toque he encouraged them:

TIMOR—PEDRA-DE-TOQUE

Timor,
Pátria da ha’u-inan e dos aswain,
Está as escrever a Sua História
Com letras de sangue e de lágrimas,
Está a construir o Seu futuro
Com os cadáveres dos Seus filhos.
……
……
Timor,
Pátria de Xanana e dos jovens de Santa Cruz,
Continuará a bater os portões do mundo
Com a Sua mão cansada e ensanguentada;
Continuará a gritar para Portugal
Com a Sua voz de irmãos de séculos.

…………”

Xanana Gusmão and his revolutionary character where lots of Timorese considered as their guide in the struggle for national liberation inspired Aparicio to utter his thoughts in the following poem, Xanana –Mito:

XANANA-MITO

És o oan-mane-kmanek de todas as mães,
O maun Boot X dos nossos jovens,
O áman das crianças de Timor…

És a uma lulik dos velhos,
O lia-na’in dos sábios..
És o mito do povo de Timor-Leste.
…….”

Timorese resistance once again entered a phase of shaking when Xanana Gusmão was captured by Indonesian troops in Dili on 20 November 2002. It was a big blow for the resistance. This, of course, made Timorese down. Aparício stood up again with his pen, challenging his enemies by stating in the following poem, Xanana:

XANANA

Caíste nas mãos do inimigo;
Em angústia e luto está
O coração do teu povo amado…
Quem te traiu, meu irmão?
Que te traiu?
…….
…..
Toda a ilha chora…
Todos os homens de boa vontade choram..
Até os túmulos dos heróis choram por ti…”

Relevance of Poetic Works in the Context of Timor-Leste Today and Tomorrow

Now Timor-Leste lives in the atmosphere of independence. Since 20 May 2002 Timor-Leste has restored its independence. Timor-Leste has been part of international community as a free, independent and sovereign nation. As any other country in the world, Timor-Leste indeed has its own past which it had gone through, its present which is now happening with full intensity, and its future which it dreams of achieving it with a full of hope.

Development activities are now carried out in all aspects throughout the country. The question now is: what is the relevance of the literary works of the poets in the aspect of cultural development at the moment and in the future?

There is no doubt that the poetic works of the three man of letters: Fernando Sylvan, Francisco Borja da Costa and João Aparício play an importante role to constantly revive the social, political and cultural values which they believe in for Timor-Leste as a sovereign nation in the world.

As an individual, Sylvan dreamed of building a new nation. He wanted to love people, ideas, and things. He had his belief for peace in the future. This dream can also be shared by his fellow Timorese which are part as citizens of the world. In a line of an untitled poem, the man chanted:

“…… Quero só ajudar a propor a outra vida/Quero só ser mais um a fazer novo mundo.
Tenho de amar pessoas e coisas e ideias.
Tenho de ter certezas na paz do futuro.”

Children as the future of the nation will continue with a new struggle in today’s modern globalized world against: poverty, hunger, illiteracy, etc. He asked the kids to wake up and get up:

Acorda
Meu filho
Acorda..
Não podes
Dormir sonhar:
Guerrilheiro tens de ser
Que o povo
Tem de lutar!

The values of unity are the classical ones, which are still relevant in the process of nation building. The cliché, “A união faz a força” continues to become as guiding principle which can consolidate the life of a nation. The strong national unity of Timor-Leste will bring Timor-Leste to achieve stability now and in the future. Since 1974 Borja da Costa had appealed to his fellow Timorese to be united. The poem, Kdadalak espressed the poetic vision of this man of letters:

Kdadalak

Kdadalak suli mutuk fila ué inan
Ué inan tan malu sá ben ta’han

Nanu’u timur oan sei hamutuk
Hamutuk atu tahan anin sut taci
………
KDADALAK SULI MUTUK FILA UÉ INAN
TIMUR OAN HAMUTUK TANE ITA RAIN

In today’s world, there should not be forms of oppression of any kind. In a free and independent Timor-Leste, there should be a change of mentality for its people. The poem, Povu Maubere Sei La Sai Atan ba Ema Ida continues to remind Timorese of this concept:

“…..
Ita tenke hamosu
Moris foun ida
Atu haluha tiha
Katak povu ne’e sei sai atan
….
Ita tenke hamosu
Ema foun ida
Husi rai ne’ebé ita hamrik ba ne’e

Ita tenke harahun
Tauk no todan
Opresaun koloniál”

Like Sylvan who sang in his poem, Manifesto Povo Maubere, for determing Timorese’s own cultural identity, Borja da Costa also wanted Timorese not to be slaves for any one at this time, when they enjoy their independence:

ITA TENKE HAKILAR HO LIAN MAKAS TEBES
KATAK POVU TIMOR
POVU MAUBERE
LA SAI ATAN
BA EMA IDA

The fighters’ struggle in the past was not in vain. The result of their struggle is the freedom which is now enjoyed, and where they had waited it for so long.
As a nation, as a people, Timorese should not forget the aswains (the heroes). Borja da Costa reminded his fellow Timorese to be with him in “Um Minuto de Silêncio” for remembering the role which the fallen heroes had played:

“….Hakmatek ba,
Imi-nia hakmatek, ita-nia hakmatek
BA MINUTU IDA
Oras atu hakmatek
Ba hakmatek tempu nian
Ba moris nian
Ba ema hirak be saran na

BA RAIN
BA NASAUN
BA POVU
BA
ITA-NIA LIBERTASAUN
HAKMATE BA-MINUTU IDA ATU HAKMATEK

Since 1976, Aparício had wanted to invite his fellow Timorese, when living in the era of independence, to simply live in tranquility, not wanting war, and having no empty stomach:

MINHA PAZ

Sou rouxinhol do Oriente,
Alma de rosas…

Não querro guerra
Porque me rouba a paz

Quero mais arroz
E uma simples guitarra

EPILOG

As a people and a nation anywhere in the world, for the sake of survival in all aspects of life, Timorese people should, along with their poets, constantly engage in acts of reflections: looking towards the past as big lessons to learn, living in today’s reality in an intensive manner, and hoping to embrace the future with a great joy. To reinforce this commitment, Kahlil Gibran had said that, “But if in your thought you must measure time into seasons, let each season encircle all the other seasons, and let today embrace the past with remembrance and the future with longing.”

References:

APARICÍCO, João—A Janela de Timor, Editorial Caminho, Lisbon, 1999

BREYTENBACH, Breyten --End Papers, McGraw-Hill, 1987

CAMÕES--- Revista de Letras e Culturas Lusófonas, July-September, 2001

EVANS, Boddy Alistair-- Internet (About.Com), “Biography: Antonio Agostinho Neto

FERRIS, Anthony—Spiritual Sayings of Kahlil Gibran, New York, 1962

SAHE INSTITUTE FOR LIBERATION--Poezia Borja da Costa iha Luta Hasoru Kolonializmu, Dili, 2005

GIBRAN, Kahlil – The Greatest Works, Jaico Publishing House, Mumbai, 2003

JOLLIFE, Jill—EAST TIMOR Nationalism & Colonialism, Queensland, 1978

SYLVAN, Fernando—A Voz Fagueira de Oan Timor, Colibri, Lisbon, 1993

POETICAL EXPRESSION-18

Words move me to tears
Words shaken me
Words revolutionize me
Words have wings
Words fly
Words are not tired
Words are merely words
Merely inviting us
Merely inspiring us
Merely saying hello to us
--
2006

POETICAL EXPRESSION-17

NOTES OF THE NEW YEAR

i am still blue!
i am still sick!
i am still tired!

oh, Lord, when
am i going to drag again my powerful steps?
--
January 2010

POETICAL EXPRESSION-16

Out of darkness, there will be light
Out of pain, there will be laughter
And the world is joyful, and claps its hands
--
December 2009

POETICAL EXPRESSION-15

I always feel restless, empty, and to a certain extent, meaningless in life. Am I always ready to accept such feeling with all of my heart?

POETICAL EXPRESSION- 14

Am I really in tune with the notion that “The Child is the Father of Man”?

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 78

(Here I am again, wanting to update this blog of mine. Six months have passed without any real effort from my side to do so. I have to admit that I have been so busy doing other matters related to work, etc therefore I lost the desire to play in this forum which I consider my poetic garden..)

*) The reality shows that there are always ups and downs in life. But, I have to confess that sometimes when the moments of downs come; it is not easy for me to accept such reality.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 77

[Two months have passed without my being active in producing quite a few reflective writings. This has something to do with my being too swamped by the addiction of ‘tagged’. I realize that this is not a good thing to do. I have to learn how to refrain from this ‘temptation’. I have to have a strong sense of self-discipline…….The following are notes which I wrote for the tagged-line. Hopefully, with them being published here, I am back on track...]

o TRUTH CANNOT BE CONCEALED
i may tell lies to others with all kinds of ways, but i cannot tell lie to myself. i cannot conceal the truth..

o DISCIPLINE IS A MUST FOR EVERYONE
Without a strong self-discipline, one cannot be successful in this long journey.

o JUSTICE WILL PREVAIL
in the long run justice will prevail.

o LIFE IS FULL OF PAIN
life is full of pain. through pain, we taste the sweetness of life..

• TRIANGLE RELATIONSHIP
me, nature and god..would love to be in tune with this beautifully triangle relationship..

---
BEING A WARRIOR OF THE LIGHT
Apr 24, 2009, 4:07 pm
i would love to engage in a constant struggle to be a warrior of the light. it is not an easy task, for sure..

PROBLEM MAKER OR PROBLEM SOLVER
Apr 23, 2009, 12:14 pm
am i part of the problem maker or problem solver?

WHEN I AM SILENT
Apr 22, 2009, 9:53 am
when i am silent, you call me a stupid person?

LOVE CONQUERS EVIL
Apr 21, 2009, 11:49 pm
no matter how, in the end love will always conquer evil.

REVOLUTION OF CONSCIENCE
Apr 21, 2009, 11:47 pm

Apr 21, 2009, 11:47 pm
we are called to be a revolutionary of conscience. are we ready?

POETICAL EXPRESSION-13

I am a solitary traveler. I am always ready to say hello to everyone in this long journey. I am always ready to invite anyone to engage in cooperation of doing things for our humanity. But, when such invitation is objected, it does not matter. I will step back slowly and firmly, and continue again my lonely journey.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 76

*) A poet has to explore and find his or her own words. He or she has to have his or her own typical expression.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 75

[I am back to the cyberspace after quite a while. Here I am wanting to chant....]

*) If we do not tune our musical instrument properly according to the sound of the ‘garputala’, then we should not dream of involving ourselves in an orchestra in order to play melodious tunes. Life also demands us to prepare and tune ourselves when we want to dive in its deep sea.

*) Everything in life has its own rules of the game where we like them or not, we should follow them. If we violate such rules, we are the ones will suffer.

*) Learning from history is a must for everyone with no exception. Let us hope that we will not repeat the same mistakes we committed in the past, in times to come.

*) I believe in the power of words. I believe words can break the silence.

*) If the trees are not strongly rooted on the soil, how can they challenge the blowing of the strong wind?

POETICAL EXPRESSION-12

I am too sick; my soul is tortured, o Rabbi! Let me touch your robe! Shower me also with the olive oil of your love, so that I will be quickly healed.

POETICAL EXPRESSION-11

Nature has written a lot of epics. They are spread around everywhere. Nature keeps calling us to spell and read all of their symbols.

POETICAL EXPRESSION-10

*) MOTHER: A SPRING, FLOWING DAY AND NIGHT

Speaking about mother, it is no doubt that we speak about our own roots, our own origins.

If there had not been the presence of a mother, how could we appear and exist, and dance with joy on the stages of our Planet Earth?

Along with our fathers, our beloved mothers took us with a blanket of love from the palace of God wholeheartedly. She took and brought us to the jungle of the world. She was not tired of seeing us flourish, and also she was not tired of seeing us extend our twigs and perch everywhere.

We cannot measure at all the suffering of a mother. We cannot return the favor of a mother at all until we die, until we become dust again.

As someone who bore us in the world, she does not ask us for many things. As someone who suffered a lot for us, what she only asks is our whole offering of love back to her. As someone who has given all her life when bearing us, she really wants us not to be lazy in drying her tears when she cries.

The love of a mother is an endless one. The love of a mother is a heavenly one. The love of a mother is the love of time immemorial.

Mothers are like springs, flowing day and night. The water of those springs is crystal clear, and very beautiful. The swollen wounds we have can be massaged with the spring water. The swollen wounds we have will be healed by its magic power.

With all the love they offer us, mothers create harmony, with all the love they spread, mothers create peace, and with all the love they foster, mothers create tranquility within every household.

A mother’s presence in our world with all the fragility she has moves her to utter her voice. Hers is a golden one. Hers is a soft one. Hers is a compassionate one, often times singing in the space of sublime truth.
--
2006-2009

*) It was originally written in Tetum, and broadcasted as a reflection piece for a show of RTTL in 2006.

POETICAL EXPRESSION-9

In moments of solitude we think and make decisive decisions in our journey of life, which is full of darkness and light.

POETICAL EXPRESSION-8

Mother is like a spring, flowing day and night. I wash my wounds with its water. The wounds are healed by its magic power.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 74

*) If there is no humility from the two parties involved in the conflict, it will be difficult to achieve peace, harmony and reconciliation. Whether we like it or not, one of them should be humble, and in doing so, it will create an opportunity for the other party to soften its approach.

*) A prayer without a hard work is the same as telling a lie. And a hard work without a prayer, there seems to be having an incomplete packing of our bags in our journey of life.

*) Making plans for carrying out life is an important thing to do, and most importantly it is the execution of such plans in a proper manner. It is not easy to live a life. There is a need to have a mental discipline to do so.

*) I am the poet, and I am the man of letters. Being a poet is a vocation. When I am still alive, and when I cry out for something, almost no one wants to hear it. Someday I am gone to the other world, and then people begin to search for my words as if they do so in trying to find a lost needle. This is, indeed, the consequence of being a literary man. It is a heavy cross in which I have to be ready to bear on my shoulder.

[Remembering the small conversation on “being a poet” I had with PR Ramos-Horta in Com, Lospalos—29 January 2009]

*) When I am silent, people think I am stupid. When I am silent, people think I am scared. Time will come someday for me to speak out. Don’t be surprised when I tell which the real truth will be.

*) We need to be silent. Silence is golden. Silence is a wise gesture. We need to step back. Sometimes we need to, if possible, let others win the whole game.

*) Our whole life can be described as a bunch of poems having no titles.

POETICAL EXPRESSION-7

THE DREAM OF XANANA

The dream of Xanana is not big, and also is not a small one
It is a moderate dream
Xanana only wishes to firmly hold the torch,
And illuminate the dark pathways
At night till dawn
--
January 2009

POETICAL EXPRESSION-6

I WANT TO CHASE MY DREAM

I want to run, heading towards the horizon
I want to chase, and catch my dream
--
January 2009

POETICAL EXPRESSION-5

IN MEMORIAM EL COMANDANTE “CHE”
[in his own words]

Don’t forget to spread my dream
Don’t be lazy to carry on my dream

Adios, I am leaving!
--
January 2009

POETICAL EXPRESSION-4

*) TAIS-MANE, TAIS-FETO

Tais that we wear
Tais that we hang on our shoulder
Also fold our souls

Tais-Mane & Tais-Feto are sacred artifacts
Keeping the ancestors’ tradition alive

Don’t throw them away, don’t step on them, and don’t burn them!

---
January 2009

Tais = Timorese traditional dress
Tais-Mane= Timorese traditional dress specially for men
Tais-Feto = Timorese traditional dress specially for women

POETICAL EXPRESSION-3

PALESTINIAN CHILDREN

Fresh blood flooded everywhere
Darkness tightly folded itself

They burst into tears again

Crying, asking for light
Crying, waking up so many people

They have lost their presence
They have lost their future

Who actually heard them cry?
Who actually opened the eyes to see them suffer?
--
January 2009

POETICAL EXPRESSION- 2

LEARNING FROM CHILDREN

Children are the living witnesses
Inheriting our tradition
From the beginning until the end

Children are our students
Children are our teachers
---
2008

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 73

*) Choosing to be a poet means that I have to be ready to take the lonely road.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 72

*) We need time to be alone. It is a must. In solitude we usually make the best decision in this journey of life.

POETICAL EXPRESSION -1

FLOURISH EVERLASTINGLY

Everything will be crushed
Everything will be broken
Everything will become dusty

New buds will appear, flourishing the flat land

We will pray
We will sing the songs of ancestors
We will tebe*)
We will bidu**)
Circling the stones of the sacred house

A big mat will be spread out
We all will sit down
Our hearts will be soft
Our heads will be cool
Telling the truth
Recounting the wrong doings


The happiness of love will appear
The beauty of peace will be green
Flourish and flourish
Flourish everlastingly
--
June 2006

*) Tebe is a Timorese dance, usually performed by men and women in a circle by holding hands.

**)Bidu is another traditional Timorese dance, usually performed by men.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 71

*) When we do not have a big heart and an open mind, it will be very difficult for us to forgive our fellow human beings when they fall into sin.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 70

*) The world we live in is already "full of shits". It is better for us not to maket it become even worse.

*) How can you expect to have a good physical health if you do not have a good mental one as well?

*) Wise leadership is very much needed amidst the chaotic atmosphere of a society.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 69

*) Truth cannot be concealed, no matter how, by anyone of us. Truth will, sooner or later, will reveal itself. Truth will set us free..

*) Our health, be it physical and mental is a precious thing in our life. If we do not take care of our body, soul and mind properly, we are the ones who will lose everything.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 68

*) If we lose hope in life, we then will feel empty. And our life seems to be meaningless.

*) Balance in all segments of life is a must. It is a natural law. Anyone dares to challenge this law, he or she will be crushed by it.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 67

[The wheel of life continues to spin around. And I follow its rhythm with all the strength and desire which I have...]

* Peace will be impossible to reign in the world if each of us does not keep burning its flame in our heart.

*) Mirror yourself always! By doing so, you will know who you really are.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 66

[August is gone. I have to admit that during that month I was really in a gloomy mood. I got no desire to do creative things, etc. I was always haunted by the feelings of restlessness. ......Because of this, this "note of a musafir" was also neglected for quite a while. And I am still in the gloomy mood now. Hopefully, soon I will be free from this kind of condition of emotions..]

*) I can lie to everyone, but I cannot lie to myself and God.

*) Patience is very much needed if we want to be successful in life.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 65

13 July 2008

9:59 PM

[Somewhere in the land of former Javanese kingdom, Singosari..

Gee, time flies. Now it is already mid July. Soon the year 2008 will come to an end. What have I done?

Dad’s funeral day which I usually celebrate has gone out of my memory. I completely forgot it for this month. Dad, how can I so forgetful? Do forgive me, Dad. ]

*) Our history was full of violence and bloodshed. Have we ever drawn any lesson from it?

*) When I am wrong, is there any space for forgiveness coming from your side?

*) Don’t ever fight back violence with violence if it is not necessary. Once you do so, you automatically enter into the hole of losers.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 64

[Long time, no see. I was absent in cyberspace for so long.. Here I am, back...In Darwin, enjoying my ORB. Back to TL later today..]

* The children are our great Gurus. They teach us without hesitation by crying,etc...

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 63

*) The poet is a man/woman whispering his or her inner voice to us while we are in the cave of our chaotic civilization.

*) If you do not get focused on something, how can you expect to be successful?

*) The Golden Rule is the basic foundation of our moral teaching. It gives us a strong sense of how we suppose to behave throughout our life.

*) How can you expect kids to behave properly if you yourself do not perform as a role model?

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 62

*) Lord, why me? Why do You always choose me to be the spokesperson of my generation poetically?

***

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 61

[ Ita has been a month and a half I was out of the blog scene. Too busy with work, and family life,etc...]

*) Peace and harmony will be hard to achieved if the two individuals who are involved in any conflict continue to be stubburn, and not wanting to, what I say in Indonesian, "merendah".

*) History keeps repeating itself. Unfortunately, we never learn from the past. When and how can we free ourselves from this vicious circle?

***

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 60

*) Truth will set us free. It cannot be concealed no matter how. As a volcano, it will erupt someday. [pondering upon the puzzle of the nation related to the current situation..]

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 59

*) Are we courageous enough to be brutally honest in revealing who we really are?

*) The task of a poet is "memulung kata-kata" (collecting words).

*) An intellectual is the one who keeps encouraging us to be fully engaged in the beauty of imagination.

***

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 58

*) Words are sharper than swords. They can create deep wounds. Be careful in how and when to utter them.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 57

*) Greal souls (scholars, artists, poets, etc) illuminate our pathways. They help us see things in a clear manner in our life considered as a journey. It is interesting to reflect again on what T.S. Eliot said in the lines of one of his poems that, "We shall not cease from exploration/And the end of all our exploring/will be to arrive where we started/And know the place for the first time//"

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 56

*) [ What have I done during the year 2007? As usual I find that the more I do, the more I feel how little I have done. And for sure, there are a lot of things need to be done. ]

*) Reflection is a must for anyone who really wants to get involved in the field of life which is full of challenges. In connection with this, once a friend of mine said in Indonesian, "pengalaman tanpa permenungan terasa tak ada makna".

*) The recycling process in all aspects of life is an interesting phenomen to reflect upon. Please remember that there is nothing new under the sun!

*) Acknowledging that "one knows that he or she does not know" is a wise act.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 55

*) Life has its ups and downs. Are we always ready to face it?

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 54

*) How can you expect to do big things successfully if the small ones you fail to do so?

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 53

*) Our history is full of bloodshed. It becomes a mirror for us to reflect upon. History will help us be prudent in life.

NOTE OF A "MUSAFIR" 52

*) I have been thrown away by the vulcanic eruption of family conflict many times. I tried to remain silent as much as I could. This will contribute a lot to my literary endeavor.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 51

*) A true intellectual is the one who can provoke us for having debates on things in life.

*) The voice of a poet: a crying voice, echoing inside the cave of our being.

*) In order to have a prosperous society, no doubt, there is a need to strengthen the middle class. Let us use the concept of "katupa", ala Timorese style.

*) Truth always tries to say hello to us. We are the ones who pretend to be deaf often times.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 50

*) Do you want to be a mediator? Be ready to be the target of criticism from all corners. You are always seen as someone who takes side when you actually try to create harmony.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 49

*) You have been part of my recent past. I cannot deny that you existed. Someday when I write my memoir, no doubt your life related to mine will be described in one or two chapters of it.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 48

*) As an artist I have to be ready any time to engage in the spiritual war. Words are my swords. Hopefully, my words will provoke people so that they can be in tune with themselves all the time in creating harmony in this wonderful planet..
[Thinking of the song "Ebony and Ivory" sung by Paul Mcartheney and Stevie Wonder)

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 47

*) An individual alone can make a difference/change--in terms of doing good and bad things. He or she has the freedom to choose between the two.

*) The 'what' in poetry writing is ok. But, I like the 'how' much better.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 46

*) Don't ever try to burn bridges but build walls if you do not want to be lonely in life.

NOTES OF " A MUSAFIR" 45

*) Chinese are great! They are so deep in concluding the reality in a simple "Tao".

*) Life is full of paradox. Are you keen on observing it constantly?

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 44

* Language of love is a silent language. A language which can stronlgy resist the chaotic noise of our civilization.

*) Be simple in appearance, and deep in thinking...

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 43

*) History continously becomes a wise teacher. Unfortunately, we never listen to his/her wise words. We repeat the same mistakes over and over again.

*) A wholistic approach towards everything will help cure our human illness.

*) Mindful walking. Stature of the Guru. The words of Guru will be repeated somewhere and someday.

*) Don't ever try to be against the Guru who has been united with the power of Nature.

*) A: Why are you wasting you time---walking?
B: I do so because I want to enjoy the beauty of our 'rungu-ranga' around.

*) Relax! Don't rush! Take your time, and look around. There are some beauty here and there.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 42

*)Education really plays an important role in helping me become a free and independent thinker. When I am critical of the performance of life, you then label me as an enemy of the State? Jesus, give me a break?

*) Radicalism only creates chaos.

*) I am merely a musafir, wandering around in the desert of life. Along this journey, I met my fellow wanderers. I am pleased to meet them, and share some views on life as a whole. I am grateful for the chance. And then, the journey continued...

*) Jesus was a great Guru. He was keen on describing the Kingdom of Heaven by telling parables. As a disciple, what can I do?

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 41

*) Leadership is very much needed in our life which is full of thorns.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 40

*) Great writers are like stars illuminating us in darkness. They show us the way, leading us towards the endlessness.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 39

*) We have to think historically. This will help us anticiapte much better our future.

*) Words have wings. Words refuse to be shuckled. Words want very much to fly around, circling the universe.

*) We need the thesis, and the anti-thesis in order to create the synthesis..

*) We need to constanly and quietly design our strategy of 'war', if we really want to win the battle of life.

*) Smile! And the world will smile back at you..Remember, life is a mirror..

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 38

*) It is interesting to reflect upon the following words uttered by Abilio (my fellow musafir), " I love people who commit mistakes, but I never love the ones who commit the same mistakes over and over again".

*) Sebastiao alias Bastian came up recently with the following deeply thoughtful words saying, " It is better to be a pretender in any circumstance".

*) Analizing the current ' political panoroma' in the country, Abilio once again appeared on the stage, proclaiming the following, " the effect of post-power syndrome creates 3 S: stress, stroke and stop". I find it interesting!

*) Let time tell its own story. Let time speak by itself, my dear!. No need at all to rush when it comes to the bubbling of confusion which many times drives us nuts.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 37

*) As a poet, I am merely as an "au kadoras", and the inspiration is the "bee" flowing.

*) Behind a great person, there is always an interesting tale about who his or her parents are...

*)We can lie to everyone, but it is difficult for us to do so to ourselves and God. The two always keep an eye on every action we take in life.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 36

*) Do you dream of changing the world around you? First of all, you have to change yourself. Remember the theory of 'ripple effect'.

*) Poets try to shape their poetry in such a way that they appear as the distillation of reality.

*) How can you expect me to engage in an political life, if I still have got nothing to eat, nothing to ear and nothing to rely on as a shelter?

*) 'Simplicity is the best policy..'

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 35

*) It is better to be moderate than to be radical. Radicalism will only creates 'asneiras'.

*) Being to'o smart 'can' make us blind spiritually. We think we are the most superior of all. This tends to makes us arrogant unconciously.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 34

*) It will be a great honor in all of our life if we keep trying to be "men and women of words"

*) Life is a constant 'war'. There is always a need to take one step backward in order to take few steps forward. Make sure that you always suspect even your own shadow..

*) A poet is a shaman. A modern one. S/he is the mediator between the seen and unseen.

*) Don't just demand your rights, but try to fulfill your obligations as well.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 33

*) There will be always war between good and evil. In the beginning, the good suffers a lot, but in the end the good always conquers the evil....(There is nothing new under sun. ...)

*) The task of an artist is summarizing the performance of reality of life in his her works condensedly.

*) Everthing has its own rule. We are asked to be constantly aware of it...

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 32

*)The task of an artis is merely to remind his/her fellow human beings that the beauty of life is like the raibow itself. Its beauty lies in the colourful appearance before us during the rainy season;

*) Self-discipline is a "must" for anyone wishing to be successful in life. Without it, don't ever expect to achieve any progress in our life time....

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 31

*) We are the roots, the children are the branches and twigs/The roots have to be strongly rooted in the soil/The roots have to be watered/ So that/the branches and twigs will grow in fertility/................/welcoming the shining sun//

*) I very much like to fly high like an eagle...(thinking of being an intellectual in TL)

*)Notes to myself: Mirror yourself all the time!

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 30

*) Time will reveal everything that we hide in the past...

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 29

*) Love conquers all evil... I believe this as like anybody else does.From time immemorial love has been always a theme greatly explored by the artists in their work. It is an everlasting theme. I have been overwhelmed by the power of love all my life. Oh, Lord I am grateful for the opportunity of living in this world and taste the sweetness of love!

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 28

*) I often tell my fellows from overseas that if they want to know Timorese mind, they should watch the "futu manu", the cock fighting. There is a philosophy behind the game..XG, in my view, communes such philosophy...

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR " 27

*) The sun is already up. We need to get up now, folks. We should not be too lazy--- lying in our bed. We need, if possible, get up early before the sun rises.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 26

*) Life is full of unexpected things. We are asked to accept such reality with all our hearts and minds.

NOTES OF A 'MUSAFIR" 25

[Eleven days passed since I last updated this blog. I am back here at TT Akait...There are so many things to write about but I have got no time to do so.....Have just had lunch with a Spanish friend whom I met recently. David is his name. We talked about literature. We hope that our newly created relationships as men of letters will lead us to a more profound collaboration in the near future... ]

*) Poets and their poetry are like drops of water dropping constantly on top of a hard rock, and in the end they manage to create holes on it...

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 24

[A week really flies. I am back here at TT to update this blog. The second round presidential elections ran smoothly without major insidents. TL once again shows to the world ist maturity in democratic process.....]

*) Humanity: one soul in many bodies, standing up separatedly, and singing together

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 23

*) A poet is merely a reminder constantly alerting us to be awake in order to witness the ups and downs of the reality of our lives. (while waiting for a cab to head towards OB for work at 8:50 am today).

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 22

[I am back to the cyberspace after being absent for a few days. I was on leave with my wife and son. During holidays I had no chance at all to update my blogs... There are so many things to write about my trip to Java and Bali recently. I wil post it here later on....]

*) Writers are collectors of fossils of time. Are they dreamers?

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 21

*) I can fool others but it is impossible to fool myself....

*) The brain tends to be arrogant but the heart tends to be wise.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 20

*) Writing is a self-discovery, a revelation. It is an endless adventure.

*) Love for humanity which you live wholeheartedly makes others feel uncomfortable. They try with every means to make you vanish from the Earth. Gee! ( I think of Jesus, Ghandi, Martin Luther King Jr, Romero, XG, etc..)

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 19

Political Panorama of TL

*) The man called XG is the real warrior in a true sense. He communes the philosophy of "Futu Manu". He strikes on the right time.

*) XG: the "Glasnot" and "Perestroika" of TL. Some see him as 'the enemy from within'.

*) Some politicians"tafui tiha sira-nia kaben, sira nain,to'o ikus, lambe fali". What an irony!

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 18

*) Nurturing a healthy contemplative life is a must in this chaotic world of ours. Remember what Jesus once said that man does not live by bread alone!

ESSAY: I HAVE FOUND A POETIC POND WHICH IS CRYSTAL-CLEAR

Dili, 28 February 2007

-I HAVE FOUND A POETIC POND WHICH IS CRYSTAL-CLEAR-

(SHORT REMARKS FOR THE LAUNCHING OF TOZÉ’S BOOK, “TIMOR: AS RUGAS DA BELEZA” AT FUNDAÇÃO ORIENTE, ON MARCH 5, 2007)


Distinguished Guests,
Ladies and Gentlemen,


It is a big honor for me to be here today with you all to present to you the book of my great Portuguese literary friend, Antonio José Borges alias Tozé, entitled “Timor: As Rugas da Beleza”.

For me personally, presenting a literary book such as this one during my literary career for all these years is the first act. It is a great emotional moment for me. I am grateful for Tozé, my dear friend in having me here.

The things which I would like very much to say about the book and its author himself have been written in its preface. You can have a look at it when you read it. However, please allow me, for the sake of launching the book today, to cite some of the words which I have written:

“As a writer, in this case as an essayist, Tozé has tried, through his book, to tell us his physical and metaphysical trips. He does not hesitate at all to invite us to do the trip with him; diving profoundly in Timor-Leste’s ocean of reality.

“He managed to take the first steps to penetrate the imaginary world of “Avo Crocodilo”. With his words, Tozé presented himself as a traveler, photographer and poetic painter. As a Timorese who likes to play in the literary world, when reading these personal essays of Tozé, I feel like I have found a poetic pond which is crystal-clear. And I did not hesitate to jump into it, and swim as I wished. And I felt refreshed.”

If I am not mistaken, Alfred Edward Housman, the English poet has once said about poetry. Poetry, he said, “is not what to say but how to say about things” (my own paraphrase). I consider these personal essays as narrative poems. Tozé has written them with his own unique style. Timor-Leste is the subject for his poetry. We all, as I believe, are poets from within. We can write about Timor-Leste with our own style, can’t we? As a photographer, Tozé has chosen Timor-Leste as one of his objects to take. As readers, we can be photographers as well as he was. We, I am sure, can take the photos of Timor-Leste from different angle, and with our own style, can’t we?

Let us take a look at some parts of one of Tozé photo by reading the following passage about his trip to Mount Ramelau (page 67-68):

“…No Alto do Monte Ramelu……..e vermelho por dentro……….
“……Até um proximo sorriso, Tata mai lau… ”

Up to know, I have not been to Mount Ramelau myself. I have wanted very much to be on its top someday. [But, I am not sure when it will be. Every time some of my friends, when telling me their stories after climbing Mount Ramelau made me very jealous of what they have done.]

This short remark is a dialogue which I am having with you all this afternoon, especially with the author himself, isn’t it? To conclude this, let me share with you a poem I wrote about Mount Ramelau a few years back when I was in Canada wandering around as a ‘ cultural vagabond’ with the status of a political refugee:


I SAM MY OWN REFLECTION

Ramelau,
I came over to your transparent pond
At is edge I saw my own reflection
naked
welcoming me
then it told me
the winding stories about the roots of my seeds

****

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 17

*) Words have the potential to heal as well as wound other people. Be careful in uttering them!

[Am back here to XRR. The weather is hot!...]

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 16

*) Being parents is a big responsibility. The children need our love and care. We will be happy if we see them grow successfully towards their adulthood life. It will be the opposite, if they don't.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 15

[Am at Xanana Reading Room now. Came here very often to buy used books and new ones. The price is quite expensive though.
A few years back I bought quite a lot of books here...]

*) Nature is wise. It offers us the philosophy of life. We are constantly requested to reflect upon it and apply it in our daily life.
[Because of this, I admire the Romantic Movement when it called upon us to "Be Back to Nature"]

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 14

[TL's presidential elections went peacefully on Monday, 9 April. I had the chance to exercise my rights as a voter in Fatuhada.
The counting of votes is almost done. Two candidates: JRH and Lu-Olo will likely to compete in the run-off elections, planned to be held on 8 May.
Let us wait and see..]

*) The soul a nation lies in the voice of its artists. Try to listen to them constantly if you can.

*) What is the role of a poet? S/he is the one who is tasked to summarize the reality of life through her or his works. S/he is a keen observer of life who sets her or his alarm of consicience for 24 hours. It is a great challenge, no doubt..

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 13

[I am back to Akait. Almost a week I did not update the three blogs of mine.....
Spent almost all day in trip with my 2nd boss to Maliana.....]

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 12

[I am back to TT Akait...

It is interesting to enjoy the greeness of the hills sorrounding Dili, the capital. Recently, I met an Indonesian who admires the beauty of Dili.....]

*) Being a scholar is like being a candle ligthening the darkness.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 11

*) Our health-- be it mental and physical, is precious. We ned to take care of it carefully. We cannot do anything else properly when our health is poor.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 10

[I am back to TT Akait now. Have just had my lunch at a restaurant closed to the National Parliament building, serving Japanese and Indonesian food. Met a Batak guy whom I met a few months ago, and we talked about the current political situation. He very much wants to see the new generation to be on the politcal stage, bringing cahnge to this country.

On my way to the restaurant, I came accross Petrus Kanisius. We were in Yogya a few years back. We shared some views on the need to recharge our baterry spiritually. Apparently, he is the same age as me. He was born on 12 January 1966.

The weekly UNMIT press conference went well, with DSRSG Tan updating the journalists on the security arrangments for the upcoming elections.

*)Try to listen to the voice of your heart carefully. Do it constantly.

*) The heart is wise, but the brain tends to be arrogant. Our duty is to harmonize the two in our daily performance in life.

*)The time for doing things is now. Don't wait until tomorrow. It might be too late.

*) I dream of seeing a Timorese who is proud of being a nationalist and at the same time as an internationalist.

*) Try to distance yourself always from the reality; then it will help you to see things clearly.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 9

[Here I am at TT Akait, wanting to update my blogspot. I am not a regular updater of the blog. Here is the entry for '16 March 2007 notes':
---
16 March 2007

[For almost three weeks I have not updated my ‘blogspot’ due to my having no desire to do so as well as the fact that I have got no time to do it.
I tried to keep in a diary as much as I could, not in a regular basis, using a note book.

Here I am back to the cyberspace.

Mundo’ birthday is today. He turns 26 years old. Ikun told me via SMS last night that it would be hard to reach him since he has not bought a new mobile phone. He has lost the old one.

Presidential election process is underway. The polling day will be on 9 April. Eight candidates have been nominated to compete on that day. Let’s see who is going to be the winner. I very much hope Ramos-Horta will be the next President of TL.]

*) There is a constant need to ask ourselves, where we are from, and where we are now, and to where we are heading.

*) “Be a philosopher, but amidst your philosophy be still a man”. I have heard this somewhere. While I was in Canada, I asked my former girlfriend, Dany to sew it on a tablecloth, and she did.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 8

[Am at the office now. It is 10:05 PM. Cannot go home due to the bad security situation. Will stay overnight in the office as I did last night.
Worked really hard yesterday until a bit late last night, trying to finish the translation a legal document assigned by Human Rights Unit into Tetun. It was done early this morning. And it was supposed to be submitted to the NP at 10 AM this morning but the meeting was postponed until next week. I had been also asked to assist dsrsg to provide the interpretation service in Tetun at NP…

I found out that ‘buat tamak sira iha IT la blokeia tan ha’u-nia blog sira’ this afternoon. This means that I do not have to be at TT to update my blogs, and spend few extra money to do so.

It rained heavily yesterday afternoon and this afternoon as well. I thought a lot of the condition of those living in the camps as IDPs.]

*) The world is sick—full of hatred, war, revenge, etc everywhere. We lack love; we lack wisdom to heal it. [Mariano once said that here in Timor-Leste, the negative attitude is the one which dominates too much in the minds and hearts of Timorese. How can we expect to develop further TL with such an attitude?]

*) Tyranny, no matter how it behaves, will come to an end someday. The people’s power is the one which will crush it. History has proven it again and again.

*) What will we leave behind as legacy to the world when we die?

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 7

[ I am now at Timor Telecom, Acait. Will be here very often to update my blog..tanba iha eskritoriu agora sei imposivel tanba buatamak sira IT blokeia. Could not do so during the weekend since I was too busy with my office work and family life....]

*) Stomach cannot wait, as the saying says. We cannot do anything else properly when we are hungry.

*) Writing is a revealing of the secrecy of heart and mind.

*) Writing is a re-writing process. Be patient with it.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 6

[It rained heavily this afternoon around 5:30. I interpreted for SRSG in today’s press conference as I usually did. He just returned from NY after attending UN SC meeting on TL. His main briefing was on his meetings in NY, especially SC meeting. Lots of questions raised by journalists, particularly in regards to security situation in TL…

I feel sorry for the IDPs when it rains.

Was so pleased to receive an e-mail from Lia Haryono, a literary fellow, residing in Jakarta whom I came across recently via internet, this afternoon as a reply to my email sent on 12 Feb. Indeed, I was so anxious these days to get some news from her. She agreed with my proposal to publish our correspondence through this blog. That made my heart leap up. What a day! ]

*) Humility is very much needed in our lives. Being humble is a wise gesture.

*) We tend to point fingers at other people while refusing to acknowledge that we are also part of the problems.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 5

[Around 00:30 am. Amor and I have just enjoyed the ecstacy of 'ceremony'...]

*) After all, as what the Beatles had said in one its songs, "all we need is love...". The world is full of hatred. We need love. Yes, we need love, don't we?

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 4

*) There is nothing to hide when it comes to spiritual nakedness (You cannot tell lies to your own heart).

*) Love conquers evil. There is no doubt about it. Love is like a balm, curing the wounded heart.

*) You can only travel to certain areas, and then you will meet your end.

*) The space for literature is endless. You will never discover them all.

[At Fatuhada, around 11:21 pm. While Nini was typing a letter to be sent to Ina in Cuba via e-mail, and Nona was doing her clippings of local newspapers on education…..]

*) Try to keep being an explorer of the heart.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 3

*) Live your life fully! Embrace not only the joy, but also the pain.

[ I went to Mom’s house in Bekusi for lunch today. I bought lunch at Obrigado Barracks (Filipino food) and took it home.
My belongings taken from Usindu were kept at the living room in Bekusi.
Met Noi, Enty, Mana Zinda, Bati and others there. They helped take my belongings with a truck belonging to Angelo, Giri’s brother. I was grateful for their brotherly and sisterly gesture of solidarity.

Oh, my! When will the current crises come to an end?]

*) Political change is very much needed [in this country at the moment]. People are tired of political rhetoric.

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 2

*) The more I write the more I feel I have not written anything. And I feel restless all the time.

*) Life is a mirror. When we smile, it will smile back at us.

*) My mother is a great teacher in my life. She is the source of my inspiration. She is like a well, never dry. She has taught me how to endure the pain in life.

*) My Dad once said when he was still alive, “Through darkness, we will see the light.”

[ Am still at the office. It is 9:21 PM now.

The security situation in Dili continues to be tense. My sisters: Zinha and Bati plus their kids as well my cousin, Zinda and the family were forced to leaves their houses in Usindu III yesterday afternoon due to the threats by the martial arts gangs. The same thing happened to my brother Enty. Feel very sorry for them. And at the moment they stay at Noi's (my eldest sister) house in Delta I.

Noi informed me that they have taken some of my belongings I left behind in Usindu III to Bekusi where my Mom lives...

Dili is trembling…. Dili nakdedar. La hatene atu hakat pasu ba loos ne'ebe?

Try to keep in this diary on-line as regularly as possible. Hope this is not only “panas-panas tai ayam”….

[I find it interesting to deal with the blog. A new playground for me…Why am so late in doing so?]

*) As a writer, you have to leave some space in your writings to the readers for their own interpretations.

POEM(S) OF THE MONTH (1)

Death

Don't shed the tears/I am not departing/I continue to be here/with you/chasing the dreams/

---

Feb.2007

NOTES OF A "MUSAFIR" 1

9 Feb 2007

*) The role of a writer is to collect the fossils of reality scattered around, then ornamenting it on the wall of our history….

10 Feb 2007

[While being in the beach of Dili lighthouse, reflecting….Around 7:39 am]

*) Write things which you know!

*) Great writers inspire others. They illuminate them.

POEMS FOR "SANAK BARAK, SULI BA IDA"

INTRODUCTION

“poetry is life, and life is poetry”


These twenty poems were originally written in Indonesian. For an attempt to reach more readers, the only way to do so was through translation. I did the translation myself with the help of an Australian friend, who is also a poet, doing the editing. Chris Parkinson is his name. I believe that there are some nuances missing when the works appear in English version.

Along with my Indonesian-Timorese painter, Yahya Lambertz I read the poems in three versions; Indonesian, Tetun and English in a cultural show with the theme “SANAK BARAK, SULI BA IDA: [MANY BRANCHES, FLOWING INTO ONE], marking the third anniversary of the restoration of Timor-Leste’s independence at the Hall of Dili-based Timor-Leste Cultural Centre sometime in May 2005. Yayha, whom I consider my ‘interpreter’ draw the paintings in expressionistic style while I was reading the poems.

These poems, hopefully, someday will appear in a book form.

I look forward to critical literary comments on my work.

Shalom,
Abé Barreto Soares

Dili, 8 February 2007



-------

THE BIRD OF PEACE

O, sweet dove, bird of peace
Where is it that you hide?
O, sweet dove, bird of peace
With strengths so soar so high
Where is it that you hide?
I can’t hardly wait for you
To fly back;
And perch upon the banyam tree
Which has a wonderful shade
With an olive branch
Nestled in you beak
O, sweet dove, bird of peace
Anxiously I wait,
And listen to your enchanting and
melodious chant of Jerusalem!
---
2003-2005


THE CROSS THAT WE BEAR

Forward we step, bearing the cross
Along the way, we fall, and
keep falling

Brightness shines upon the slopes of Calvary
Easing the burdens we bear
hesitantly
---
2005


IN MEMORY OF *) SERGIO VIEIRA DE MELLO

you stuck a flag’s pole
on the dry and unfertile land of **)lafaek

the flag was raised
waived by weighty winds

you saluted the flag

you stepped backward

you remained at the edge

---
2003-2005

*)Former head of UN Mission in Timor-Leste, UNTAET from 1999
until 2002, killed in Baghdad in August 2003.

**)Crocodile (according to the legend, Timor island was the
transformation of a crocodile)


BAGHDAD SLICED BY THE WOUNDS


Baghdad sliced by the wounds!
Baghdad collapsed, powerless!
Baghdad listless, bathing in blood!

Baghdad’s wounds are our collective wounds!
---
2003-2005


A BAYONET FIRMLY STUCK

A bayonet firmly stuck!

The crocodile struck by the disaster,
Its body spread out, its mouth full of foam of saliva

Crocodile’s mouth mumbling:
“What have I done wrong?
What is my sin?”
---
2002-2005


WHITE ROBE

Stained by blood,
Dust settles upon the pallid robes
When it offered the sacrifice to the altar

In this hour the white robe we curse
In this hour the white robe we slash
We stepped upon it,
And throwing it away
--
2005


LÁGRIMAS DO XANANA (TEARS OF XANANA)

Tears of Xanana,
warm and condensed

Transformed into balm

Healing the wounds

---
2002

PONTE KAIS-DILI SEAPORT

sedimentary rocks, coral reefs

ripple of waves, radiance of lights
competing to express themselves, marking their presence:
here i am, here i exist
---
2002


I AM A PEEBLE THAT YOU THROW (INTO THE POND)
(An Evening Meditation)

“when all of the musical strings of my life will be played, then every touch of Yours will create the music of love.”
Rabindranath Tagore

Lord, I am merely a peeble that you throw into the freshly transparent pond

And I am sinking

Soon I am leaving behind the ripple of waves, slowly moving to the edge

The evening sun
Shinning its lights, kissing the lips of the pond

The ripple of waves, gently foaming
The ripple of waves, slowly
dissapearing
---
2002-2005

ON TOP OF BARREN HILLLS

Crosses shining
On barren hills

Fresh blood shedding
Fertilising flat lands

New buds blossoming
Spreading a heavenly fragrance

---
2005



DESEMBER 1975 ( part 1)

Dili trembled
Dili frightened

Dili doubtful
dragging its steps

chasing the footprints of freedom
---
2002-2005?



DESEMBER 1975 (part 2)

my dignity was stepped upon
my dignity was handcuffed

i stared
in fear

i mumbled
i stammered

---
2002-2005?


*)NICOLAU LOBATO

darkness tightly handcuffed us
darkness strongly folded us

you are the light penetratedly shinning
you are the light batteredly shining

firmly we stand
firmly we step forward
firmly we welcome

the freshly warm breeze
---
2003-2005?

*) Timor-Leste’s resistance leader killed during the battle against Indonesian military in 1978


DADDY

Daddy was not an angel. Daddy’s shirt stained
by mud. Daddy fell headfirst

asking for
the offering of forgiveness
---
2003-2005?


*)MANATUTO

manatuto: my roots
firmly rooted

my branches freshly sticked out

my twigs ready to wander around,
sounding out the corners of universe
---
2004-2005

*) My father’s hometown


BLACK SEPTEMBER

pillars soaring high
pillars scattered

exposing silent witnesses
recounting poignant stories
---
2004-2005


LISBON: SEKILAS SKETSA
(LISBON: A SKETCH AT GLANCE)

terik mentari
membakar wajah kota

[rindu dendam
berebut ucap,
berebut cakap,
berebut pentas]

mondar-mandir wisatawan
mencari nikmat

[aku:pemulung fosil-fosil jaman kita; I am the collector of the fossils of our era,
aku, warga buana melancong tak berujung pangkal;I am a citizen of the world; wandering around without any destination]

tak kencang bertiup angin
sejuki wajah kota yang semakin menua

[timor-lorosa’e yang hancur lebur
laksana seekor pheonix mengepak-kepak sayap-sayapnya
dari dekapan sisa-sisa abu,
dan terbang lagi,
sangat meninggi
menerobos batas-batas cakrawala; timor-lorosa’e was completely destroyed, completely crushed,
like a pheonix clapping its winds from the rest of dust, and flying again really high]

sore beranjak tiba
seorang bocah cigano
mengamen dengan akordion mungil
meminta belas kasih
anjingnya kurus kering
setia menemani


[ah, tamba sa maka sempre iha lakuna entre ema riku no ema kiak sira? tamba sa? why is it that there are always gaps between “the haves”
and the”haves not”? why?]

di praça do comercio
tampak ada tertulis di dinding tembok; in praça do comercio, there was a graffity on the wall saying,
“MORTE AO IMPERIALISMO!
CLINTON, GO HOME!

[rupanya Pam Sam
dan tetek bengeknya
tak mendapat tempat disini; it seems like Uncle Sam and his various kinds of things are not welcome here]

fado beralun, sayup-sayup terdengar
dari mulut wanita setengah baya, bergigi ompong
menyambut senja,
sebentar lagi turun
selimuti
wajah kota lisbon ; fado was heard from a distance, sung by an old lady, being toothless
welcoming the evening
which soon came, covering the face of Lisbon
----
2000-2005



I AM THE SHEPHERD, AND YOU ARE THE SHEEPS

I am the shepherd,
You are the sheeps

You are stuck by your weariness
You are stoned to death by your weariness

Here I am, waiting for you to come

Here I am, waiting for you to caress your chronic weariness
---
2005


MY SILENCE

My silence
is multi-intrepreted

My silence
is merely a sign of protest:
I refuse to be shackled
----
2005



ERNESTO “CHE” GUEVARA

Latin star
shining at dawn

lightening the pathways

---
1996-2005

INTRODUCTION

--DADOLIN, DADOLIN, POETRY, POETRY--

"poetry is not what to say, but how."

AE HOUSMAN

Dadolin is a space for poetic mind and poetic feeling.
Come, let us sing!
Come, let us dance!


Shalom,
ABÉ BARRETO SOARES

Dili, January-February 2007